I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize