I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
