when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
