Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
