i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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