Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
