college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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