never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
