i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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