I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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