You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
