Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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