And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
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