Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
