i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
