Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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