just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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