i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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