We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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