No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
