You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
