Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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