Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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