What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
