come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
