weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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