so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize