My nipple is on Facebook.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
