thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
