And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize