last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
high people should be assigned attendants
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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