Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
