Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
