You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
COCAINE IS GR8
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
