Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
