Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just had sex bonerless
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Help. Why am I so naked?
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