big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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