he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I came so hard my ears popped.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
