you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
