we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
