I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
