stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
