Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize