I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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