masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
