I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
