How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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