can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
