in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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