I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
