is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
