I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
