I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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