My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
