pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
