My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
