He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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