i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
