Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Need sex. Gaining weight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
