You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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