people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
