she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
